Here’s the post you have all been waiting for! Your weekly fap material, get it here, fast (not really) and free (hey, this part is true)!
Let’s recap episode 2… oh wait let’s not. I forgot what happened. Oh, never mind. It was the idol episode where Taketo helps cheer up Utae by fuc– I mean, clearing her doubts. Anyway, let me tell you something random, everyone. I have this week’s rule of the internet.
Week 8/1’s Rule of the Internet: It needs more desu. No exceptions.
Awesome. Moving on, this is the start of the episode 3 review.
Here we go! Taketo’s fantasizing skills for you right here.
He imagines the chief licking an apple and turning to look at him with her jugs bouncing. Then Taketo wakes up, realizing it was a dream. Next to him, he hears a cute voice mutter, “The slick, unripe fruit.” Taketo says, “Yes, the slick… ?” and realizes that Narukara is sleeping right next to him. So… how did this happen?
I think the opening plays around here.
Taketo walks into school one day to find a crowd in front of a bulletin board. As he asks what is going on, the crowd parts like the Red Sea. What he sees on the board is this:
And with that, Taketo is called to the office. The teacher who wears way to much lipstick asks Narukara what Taketo did to her, and she replies by saying…
WHAT? TAKETO YOU BASTARD! (hippiefreak restrains Light). Oh yeah, that didn’t happen. So the gang heads out to Tsukuru, the genius inventor, to ask for a video or any evidence of what happened. Tsukuru says that she is lazy and instead shows the gang this new invention…
I get the feeling I’ve heard of this before… Idk where though. Tsukuru tells Taketo that it can stick something to something else. That triggers Taketo fantasizing about a robot that wants to ‘combine’ with Tsukuru.
Of course, something has to go wrong, and the device malfunctions to stick Taketo and Narukara together.
Taketo tries stripping to separate from each other, but gets shocked in the process. Tsukuru tells us that the only way to fix this situation is to fix the device. So Tsukuru is in some room monitoring Taketo and Narukara (who are in Taketo’s room full of porn by the way) and she says:
After some boring talk that no one wants to hear between Taketo and Narukara, Narukara gets ready to practice clarinet. Utae calls Taketo and reassures him that she thinks he is innocent (such a pure girl! Or not… episode 2).
Then Narukara begins playing, which causes Utae to go “ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR?” rage on him. No, not really. She asks who that is, and Taketo replies by saying that he has to work and hangs up on her. You bastard. She’s an idol, dammit.
Narukara seems to be unable to practice her clarinet (because her reed is broken I think? Taketo ate it or something). So the boring part is now skipped to get to a short random scene in the episode where they show one of Taketo’s greatest fantasies. Some football erotica. The guy says, “A night touchdown!” And what the girl says is:
At school, Tsukuru has ‘fixed’ the machine/device and uses it to separate Taketo and Narukara. Slow moment of joy there where the two split apart. Not that big of a deal, you guys. Seeing as like half the school turned up.
Suddenly the device malfunctions even more and goes out of control, pulling cellphones, bras, panties, EVERYTHING to stick together. Narukara’s clarinet eventually goes up there, and Taketo ends up chasing after it like this:
Long live the fantasizes surrounded by a bunch of female undergarments.
With this, Taketo has a nosebleed large enough to fill a river. The nosebleed spirals and twists somehow (telekinesis or some shit?) and hits the device, causing it to stop functioning.
From the rubble our perverted hero emerges, baptized by the glorious pile of bras and undies. Really lame scene where Taketo comes out by himself looking all cool and giving the clarinet to Narukara.
The chick with the blue hair that constantly hates on Taketo tells him that she still can’t trust him because he assaulted Narukara. Tsukuru finally clears up the misunderstanding by showing the recording the missile took right before it crashed. The blue chick acts all tsundere and shit (although I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like Taketo probably a person into yuri). Meanwhile, Tsukuru is immensely interested in Taketo…
I SHATTED BRICKS. Dissect me… sexually. What?
Later, Taketo goes to the place where he protected Narukara from the missile. Narukara shows up and goes up to him to do this:
He’s like, “HOLY BALLS AM I GETTING MY FIRST KISS?” Not really. But he does panic and shit, but Narukara just breathes out and begins playing her clarinet. Hahaha, Taketo. Serves you right. 😀 And with all the ‘beautiful clarinet music’ the episode ends.
End of episode 3.
This is the beginning of the episode 4 review.
Taketo starting us off with a monologue about The Forbidden Garden. Of Not Eden.
Yes. The garden is… PANTIES. Because they are not meant to be seen, but are created for the purpose of being seen. What? A paradox? Think about it. Why buy such cute panties that beg to be seen but should not be? It truly is a forbidden garden. Or rather, the apple of the Garden of Eden.
Taketo meets Narukara on his way to school, and they exchange greetings and talk about random crap that no one cares about. Why? Cuz this episode is made up of fan service!
So it seems she doesn’t know that he writes porno. Hm. Anyway, Raika shows up and is like “What da fuck man why u no tell her you write porn la?” Raika wants to photograph the moment she is soiled by the inclusion of pervertedness into her innocent life. Taketo goes to school and opens his locker to find a love letter. Inside is a picture of a girl with bear panties, of which he is determined to find. Example of his searches:
Taketo is called to the office and scolded for flipping skirts and staring at panties. The teacher breaks a heel and falls, showing him her panties as well. She slaps him and Taketo is left wondering what the hell is going on. Meanwhile, a new genius has made her debut:
She tells him that he is cursed (apparently she’s a 100% accurate genius fortune teller). Uh oh…? Is he cursed for meeting this cute new chick? Not hot, but cuteeeeeeeee. And no, I’m not a lolicon. Taketo runs into a pair of panties on his way home (not the right pair) and sniffs them. I get a feeling SOMEONE took a picture of that. He has a fantasy about finding panties and putting them on a woman’s body like a glass slipper. Cinderella reference. Duh.
He gives the panties to a guard and goes home. That night, he has a nightmare about panties. Afraid of panties, that day, Taketo runs past all the girls (which flips up their skirts) including this blue haired girl’s. Turns out, there are the words “Only Girls” on her underwear. Yuri was right, after all…? This girl is pissed and attempts to kick Akutagawa, but instead misses and kicks the wall. And in the wall is…
With that, Taketo discovers that the person behind all of this was Raika. No shit, Sherlock. He chases her down, and she reveals to him that she wants an ugly picture of him for a poster to attract geniuses to the academy. It was her panties. WHAAAAAAAAAAT.
WHAT? You bastard. You’re lucky to have seen Raika’s panties. All we’ve seen is a bunch of white light, dammit. She blackmails him into getting an ugly picture for her of him being perverted. Raika brings Taketo to the girls’ bathroom and tells him to violate this “sacred ground”.
I honestly lol’d at this. Taketo tells Raika that he needs real stimulation because a girls’ bathroom is not a girls’ bathroom without girls, so Raika offers herself up.
The two are caught by these three girls! Utae!!!!!!!!!~
Taketo tries to explain, but Raika abandons him and turns on the sprinkler, getting all the girls wet. Taketo has a fantasy…
UTAE~~~~~~~~~~. Raika snaps a couple of shots of Taketo, but not enough (or the right one apparently). -Later- Taketo is mad at Raika. He says:
The two continue tomorrow at the girls’ locker room. Raika talks about how this is a sacred ground upon which all guys dream to tread.
The rest will be a lot of pictures. Just FYI. Taketo says:
Lolowned. Raika tries to get a moving on by doing this…
Taketo is embarrassed (about what I wonder?). If he gets a boner now… would AISDHOFIADHJLKASJDFLKJ. Damn you Taketo lucky bastard.
HOLY SHET I WANNA SEE QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ OTL.
YES. FAP MATERIAL TIME. TAKETO FAP IN FRONT OF HER. She’s about to give him her undies, and Taketo attempts to stop her which ends up like this: (Yes, virginity)
YOU DUMBASS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO LET HER STRIP. JESUS. Lololol. But I guess this position isn’t half bad. Taketo gets off her, but she self-imposes herself on him. WOAH A FORCEFUL GIRL. TAKE IT RAIKA! Lucky Taketo.. I’ll kill you.
She shows him her bra (or her breasts if she took both off stupid white light).
Raika looks around and is like ZOMG MIRRORS ARE WATCHING ME. SO MANY OF THEM. Taketo has a fantasy.
Raika realizes that she’s “ugly” (MY ASS YOU’RE UGLY). The next day, Raika is back to normal, all happy and smiling with the new poster.
Taketo acts modest and shet, but that’s not important. What’s important is that the poster is a collage, and the collage contains this picture:
In case you didn’t notice, that’s a shot between her legs with a full shot of her underwear. That’ll have the guys FLOCKING toward this school. Raika does not answer the question as to whether she is embarrassed or not, but says that the best cameraman makes for the best subject. Taketo says to just photograph herself. Ouch. Raika, in response, tells him, “Since we’re both ugly, don’t you think we make a good pair?” What? She’s fucking smokin’. THE. END.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA I‘M FINALLY DONE! MUAHAHAHA MY JOB HERE IS DONE HEHEHEHEAHAHAHAHA HURHURHUR LOLOLOL LMFAOROFLCOPTER LULULULUL.K no, but really I’M FINALLY DONE! YESSSSSS.
Kids, do not try this at home. See you later~